“A simple answer for a higher degree of complexity.”

             The previous night rendered me restless. Should I account for the reasons? Nothing so concerned but something that rung the bell inside my head. 

I was rung up by a Civil Service aspirant last night around 10.30 p.m to clear the doubts that stuck him at clear interims. He is not a regular caller but whenever he calls me, time flies like anything to find myself ahead of hours. 

He was a "FRIEND" of mine at school, years back - my senior. Literally I knew the meaning of the term "FRIEND"; to be a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. But that word or its meaning never applied to me at any point of time in my life nor had a bearing on my life. I openly labelled him as an acquaintance. For me all goes under that category.

Whenever he raises academical doubts, I never found it inconvenient to answer him. We never had a verbal combat, no amicable talks, no points of social indifference, no hard sentiments; yet I never acknowledged him as a "FRIEND". I haven't heard him restricting his questions to academics but he sensed to some extent that there was a burdened heart in me. Now & again I hear him shower words of comfort and concern.

Yesterday, when he raised such ardent questions to share whatever troubled me; I proved unable. Silence was the only answer I kept in reserve. My lachrymal  glands showed feelings of being lost. I slipped onto many things.

Do I know the reasons?

What was troubling me?

Do I have commitments?

No, somewhere at the back of my mind I’m an undeniable hindered person. I do tell him that I’m always open as a book; however he answers that he is unable to read a complex book like me.

“A simple answer for a higher degree of complexity.”

"I Kept my life vague"

What I could answer him to be the fountain source as to why I appeared to be troubled was the so called “LIFE” that I led. Six years of extreme solitude confined me what I’m presently. I knew for sure that my silent words were sharp yet he was kind enough to pull a guy up from the pit. It was very certain that he might have regretted his words of concern. All I could do is to apologize for my very sincere words. I sat wakeful throughout the night brooding over things that ate me up while my mobile beeped with some other humanitarian messages.