In pace with 'Notes from the Underground'

"Recently, I started reading a book, 'Notes from the Underground' by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Though I have started on this novel several times long back, I get hung most of the time at certain intervals. One of the highly existentialist novels, it focuses on the ramblings of a secluded narrator, who was once a Civil Servant who tags himself as 'intoxicated with spite.' The novel runs mainly around the theme of Utopianism, I believe if that is what I have inferred covering a required number of pages. Keeping in pace with each and every word and the intensity of emotions that he has displayed in penning it down; I sort of wonder the words he has used nonchalantly.

I have been stupefied coming across certain thoughts that he has tried to convey through the novel about mankind and society.

“I could not become anything; neither good nor bad; neither a scoundrel nor an honest man; neither a hero nor an insect. And now I am eking out my days in my corner, taunting myself with the bitter and entirely useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot seriously become anything, that only a fool can become something.”

The autopsy of what a man is being brought out in natural words when he mentions that,

“But man is a fickle and disreputable creature and perhaps, like a chess-player, is interested in the process of attaining his goal rather than the goal itself.”

In his words I see truth and indisputable facts.