Wish me Luck!

                                                             I remained as a stagnant pond in 2015. All i could do was to ponder over many things that was running in my head. Breaking down emotionally at times. Observing things; giving more significance to non-living objects and not seeing the existence of human beings. 

Met certain people accidentally through the journey of my life. I was supposed to write a book and publish it in 2015. It didn't happen. Stayed away considerably from blogging as well. I was actually getting uncouth out of nothing.

And now it’s time for me to put all the worries and problems of these days to bed as a fresh year awaits me and my time. 

2016... I assure you; I’m gonna start working for my book to see it in the shelves of bookshops right away in 2016. Writing is my cup of tea. I’m gifted that way. All I have to do is bleed my mind out. I'm determined to do that. So folks, wish me luck.

Prepping to bring out a collection of short stories. Your suggestions and feedback are both valuable to me. Feel free to. Anytime...

With Love to all my readers...

Arena of ecstasy

         Something that ran over my brain from each one of those concocted pre ideas of my life.

Days...

                                Days overlap and swallow into a year. And these days starts and ends with no close connection between the agreeable and conflicting things. Some days ease us out whereas some strangles our throat. Memories are the only things that interweaves the beginning and ending of those days. And these memories are solely responsible in making us enter into the cavern of deep thoughts that stir us with despair, joy, gratitude, grief etc. It is the same memory which at any moment can make us enthusiastic and drive mad.

And these days draws us near to certain relationships on the personal front to an extent as well as to keep away from some on the other hand.

Not all days imply a significance in life, but some does. Some are standing out to be significant whereas some are meaningless…

"Ruminations on Mortality"

                                        

                                                                Death...How should I define you? I can’t picturise in what form and in what way you may silently steal me by whispering in my ears. I know for obvious reasons that you are the end result of the slips and betrayal of my life.  

       Aren't you acquainted with life? Of course you are. Because I think it is the road of life that finally leads to your calm castle of clueless obscurity. You are well aware that the road of life is not just a plain path. It is an adventure. An adventure that has many possessions, hope, longing, passion, expectations, worries, anxiety, love, lust, concern and a lot more of a fancy materialistic world. Why would you want to ambush people into your kingdom after this fiesta of life?

      Are you an entity or a delusion? My body doesn't shiver at your thought nor am I afraid to see your countenance. A blemished and strained life would never be afraid to feel you. Before your dull shroud could cover my mortal self and run away to your realm, I would want to stop you for a moment if you would allow the last wish of an insatiated soul.

      My youth may be glum but my heart pumps blood. My eyes may have lost its shine but it saw the world to a level of 24 years. Your low voice reverberates in my ears. They are profound and surreptitious but they don’t unburden me the answers to the reservations of a scarred life. I can hear you here and there when my musings fall on in a steady progression.

     I know that once you will come to me without sounding harsh and invite me to your territory to unveil yourself and your being.

"Why is this LIFE?"

                                                         

                                              Is there something like fancy and reality? I don't discover myself unpracticed or a little child to pose this question or a progression of inconveniences that frequents me. What is life? What am I doing here in this world, why would it be advisable for me to be disturbed by episodes of incidents?

Standing under the vale of a thousand thoughts and questions, for which no person in the religious order or someone who is brilliant enough can satiate my soul, which thirsts gravely for answers. What is the use and value even if I am educated to the extreme? So far, I am not inspired by people, or by their preaching, nor books. All pen down their perceptions as they coexist with encounters.

Concepts, entities or attributes like happiness, extreme joy and delight, people, socializing, care and concern for others, religious teachings and so and so on haven’t found place in the pages of my life and if something in a small measure remains, are getting blurred day after day. As I live each day of this alleged “LIFE”, I am a completely dissatisfied person, living for reasons unknown and with no intention to multiply or find love.

I just have an option open in front of me, "Conceived once, so need to live till I fade away into blankness".

Each and every day appears as the same with no clear cut answers as to why this life is exciting or should be appealing? But I still have no regrets or complaints.

Touched by Loneliness - Part II

                                                                      

                                                  He woke up from the slumber he was taken into a few hours back. Indeed it wasn't rest, yet the over measurement of the pills he took at clear interims. His hands and legs measured substantial more than normal. He felt as though those have turned into a burden for him to move along. His eyes stuck on something glued on the glass on the almirah of his room. Before he could get genuinely included and be lost in that, he shaked it off and got up to clean up. The humidity in the room has seriously affected him; making him uneasy now and then. The semi circular shaped windows expressed their disapproval for natural breeze and light getting into his room. The golden pothos plant on the bookshelf seems to be on the verge of facing serial killing for no reason. He felt as though the entire world was going to crumple before him yet something made him affirm that he would unquestionably fall before the world would.

He got up from the bed and walked to the cupboard. As he swiftly took a towel, something fell on the floor and he couldn't have cared less to examine it either. Sometime in the past he was so keen on keeping things and his tangibles in his brooding spot at exact positions. However things have changed and he himself has and that routine moved in pace with his life.

The icy water from the shower fell like sharp needles and he felt that it was puncturing into his body. He felt the sensation but it was not, any sort of afflicting pain because he believed that once when the mental orientation of a person goes wayward and doesn't get along, then no physical bruises could hurt.

“Yes, it was true. Life can often be beguiling. It just takes an unexpected turn from nowhere. Even though some things are preplanned and plotted in life, it won’t show its fair side. The reality of the matter is that on more than one occasion; significantly even more than that, we are broken down in life before we are finished with anything. The seriousness and depth that it greets some people in life are different whereas it is funny on others.”

Philosophies couldn't add to the state. In fact all he knew was that he still tasted the bitter wine from the chalice that life thrust upon him forcefully.

He remained under the shower for a considerable length of time and his train of thoughts was bothered by a calling bell.

(to be continued)

"A Soul Brother"

                                                           I might want to  break away the part 1 of what i kept going composed on January 22. I truly feel that i ought to specify 'him'as he is enamored with my blog. Recently i happened to meet a truly fantastic person, who halves certain tastes of mine.

A Cancerian by conception, i think he rightly should be ruled by the moon to show the specified subjective qualities : 

                               Their identity can truly be convoluted, yet profound inside they are moderate and home-adoring individuals. They want to be in a commonplace surroundings and support their connections. To comprehend a Cancerian all the more completely, we can take a gander at their positive and negative qualities. (ASTROLOGY SPEAKS).

I'm uncertain as to where i ought to begin talking about him.It is not on the grounds that he complimented me for things that i am what truly is,  yet for what he would not joke about this.

Just a two to three hour chat that i had with him the earlier night, bailed me reach out specific determinations as he is an another magnificent guy that i went over after quite a while. I could promptly sense from his words that he was significantly more insightful, natural, mindful & concerned in addition to a sharp onlooker; else he wouldn't have said this to me just in the wake of having a look at me for a couple of minutes for two days and an additional two months back right away when i was in Trivandrum.

"Do u know..ur smart,handsome, very good looking, well dressed, has good etiquette's, reads and writes well and yet has less friends..its not ur problem.. Its others..they can't teach ur level of thinking, so that doesn't mean u have to stoop to theirs to be accepted.."

Hailing up from a Brahmin class, he never needed to secure himself to old thoughts and conviction and that is the reason he went to profoundly see things in Sufism and an adherent of Rumi's words, popularly  known as Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi. I ponder he may have said he wished to see Turkey as Rumi and Sufism focuses around it.

Another question of concern he raised while going through my blog was,

"U miss something, or many things..I feel so..every time I read ..I get that feeling".

He felt that my writing was devoid of happiness. Obviously, what he felt was right and i wouldn't want to lie to a honest guy who says so much and i never will.

"At one point, he couldn't find perfect words 
 to convey but this, which he felt would
 wished to say.
 Really great and meaningful"

I enjoyed it all that much when he recommended me certain books to peruse when i discovered time and also the books,'The Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens and 'Museum of Innocence' by Orhan Pamuk. I would prefer actually not to turn it down on the grounds that i know when he alluded me those; it would fundamentally stand worth.

To be sufficiently reasonable we truly had an intriguing talk. He, a happily depressed guy (used to be) and i, on the other end a negatively positive person (still is). He sensed out the requirement for me to descend the stairs of loneliness. It was so minding of him. He communicated his heart out...not at the same time, in light of the fact that this was our first talk. All i knew was that he truly yearned to converse with me. I would not just love him because he said he cherished my blog, yet when i observed that he allocates a polar adaptation of intending to life and has profundity. I respect him for that what he is. 

Touched by Loneliness - Part I

                                                              He leaned against the wall of his room in a corner. He could see the slight reflection of himself that fell on the mirror in the almirah which took a stand opposite himself, because of the moonlight that fell through the window into his room. A silent uninvited visitor. He never took a gander at the time nor was he inspired by anything. His eyes looked tired, with those dark circles around his eyes. It was simply the sign of restless evenings and late nights he experienced. His body felt to be weary and seemed to be immensely lost over some thoughts. He appeared to have lost his hunger however starving didn't influence him at any expense...

Those shimmering eyes lost its shine...his eyes were small, however it moved in edification at whatever point he grinned. But now, his eyes lost all its energy. Why?

A water bottle on the verge of getting empty and spreads of a few tablets lay other than him. Does he seem to have been using antidepressants?

Was he in a long term relationship with someone? Or was he experiencing the cyclical fluctuations of loneliness and sadness? Or was he socially and forcefully isolated or doomed to depression?

Answerable questions. Only he can answer those questions of concern asked above.

(To be continued)