Losing myself - Part I

 I live on the 37th floor of this building - a dejected, hapless and sober building. I chose myself to be locked away from the madding crowd when their caprices and whims started becoming unbearable. It was occasional in the beginning but later I couldn't bear humans.

I felt the ardent need to self quarantine my feelings, to fetter myself in a room which really lacked comforting words, probing questions or looks of sympathy.

My room started to vibe with the melancholy which my body reeked profusely. Well I couldn't comprehend how much quantifiable my loss was!

I lost myself in my utopian world where my silence turned into murderous stabs. And when my body wriggles with that pain, there is a constant war waging between my mortal body and immortal soul.

Have you ever felt this? I mean what i feel now! I know this feeling might visit you very rarely but when you feel so, you face difficulty in expressing it. 

I chose the 37th floor of this building and allowed myself  to be cut off from the world just to feel myself and the solace of solitude it cuddled me with. Standing on the balcony of my apartment, I can see the horizon waning away in silence like my unspoken words. I can see how the darkness sets in and feel the cold wind sweeping over my body...........

Obscurity

 The feeling is strong but obscure!

How traumatized life can be at-times. We carry the past pangs of strife, we are destined to carry as a sole reminder to make us feel that 'it' existed at one point of time in our lives.

Something that made us feel bad about ourselves, something that made us point fingers to blame ourselves, something that made us to cover the scars  that we had earned in the onward journey of life! Even something that made us evolve finally into an ungrateful biped or an emotional fool through the severities of life.

The journey of life is subtle. Yet the paths through which it leads us are beyond words. By the time we watch and understand the drama of our life, we will be an unknown story for the world. 

As we all hold many untold secrets,which we carry to our graves....